Introducing Mowing the Astroturf

With the arrival of the first major storm of the season, the streets of Portland have returned to that state commonly referred to as “higglety-pigglety” On Friday, I discovered that wondrous winter experience of trying to fit my corpulent frame between two narrowly parked cars, only to find the ankle-deep puddle conveniently hidden under a thin layer of brown slush.

Spare socks, at least spare ones in the journo bag, are now required carrying. In the minor storm last week, Observed on the streets was a great scene of the modern age. On Saturday Janury 7th, the layer of ice on the sidewalk had reached levels that would have inspired Satan to invest in Ice skates. I saw a middle aged guy, tapping away on his smartphone while walking down the icy sidewalks.

This is where the Gods of winter mock you. In an instant, he managed to hit that bit of sidewalk that made his feet come out from under him, and actively engage in some quick moving behavior that seemed to be a cross between the old time days of disco, matched up with an Irish jig. He managed to keep his feet under him, but continued to tap away on the old smartphone.

Clearly, smartphones have led to dumber pedestrians, or at least an increase in broken bones.