Whack-A-Mole Month Begins

With the rainy weekend coming to a close and, in the words of Douglas Adams, I find myself taking more naps than a reasonable person can take in a day (or a weekend,) I’ve been following the political scene with a white hot intensity only seen in welding shops.

“Whack-A-Mole” season has begun.

With the June Primary a scant 9 days away, expect that phone to start ringing with robo-calls. Your cell phone will be the recipient of at least a half dozen unintended text messages. Social networks like Facebook and Twitter will run to posts that you KNOW are just plain wrong, but touting the alleged accomplishments of a prospective candidate. Your TV is going to explode with ads.

No matter where your turn, your eyes are going to get a workout over the next week or so, and the assault will likely hit your ears as well. You have two options for dealing with the oncoming onslaught.

The first is to engage in that time honored game of “whack-a-mole.” hunting the politically active back to their haunts. If you’re like me and have made an honest attempt to limit the amount of interaction you have with politicians (Damn, I keep typing that at criminals but modern spell check keeps correcting it.) very few of them have your email or cell number.

Plan on calling the campaign of a prospective Senate candidate because they called you, when you’re on the national “do not call” list?  Good luck with that. Politicians made themselves exempt from that chestnut as well.

The reality is, even if the candidate loses, a complaint is low on their priority list of things to do…namingly sucking up to the winner.

If your on a good cell plan, just set the phone down after the obligatory “Can you hold on a second? I’ve got to let the cat in…hold on!”  In about ten minutes you’ll get your phone back. Helpful hint: If you have a good stereo, crank up some Ramones “I Wanna Be Sedated” before setting the phone next to the speaker.

For TV, the remote must never leave the “quickdraw” position on the sofa.

Your social network is different, though.Undoubtedly, everyone has friends on both sides of the spectrum who, according to Mark Twain “Would argue with a sunrise.” Now is the time to strike.

Toss out that witty observance of the campaign, tagging both of those friends. Then, click down to “ignore posts.”  This gets both players out of the way for the foreseeable future.

If necessary, repeat that step. Toss in the occasional “now THAT can’t be true!” Think of it as the modern day equivalent of the “how to frustrate an idiot” card…without needing to cite the instruction of turning over the card.

You COULD jump into the fray, but in nine days the biggest part of the House and Senate campaigns will be over. There are precious few chances to frustrate politicos to the point of exhaustion..so take the chances when you can!