Head-Fakes And The Art Of Distraction

When you think you’re done all your writing for the week, and decide to head to the bar for several rounds of beverages, you can always count on our Governor to stomp all over your plans.

Back to the house of pain!” ye newsmen, our Governor has managed to insert his feet to the depth of his kneecaps again, this time bemoaning the lack of lubricant.

The following day, apologies came, begetting another news cycle. The past two years has been a never-ending pattern of lather, rinse, and repeat. The spin cycle barely has time to get started before we’re off on another trail that dies a few days later.

Meanwhile, no budget. Well, that is not entirely accurate. The Governor has one that he wants, and the Legislature have one that they want. The difference between them is the difference between tossing a foil-wrapped potato on the BBQ, and when biting into it later discovering that it was not a potato, but a rock.

So we need a distraction, something for folks to jibberjab about over a weekend while everyone plots strategy. “Hey! Let’s float the rumor that the Governor is NOT going to run…or better yet is going to run for something else!”

We all enter panic mode, scurrying like sun-addled demented beasts to get the story. ‘‘Everything’s on the table,’’ he said. ‘‘Retirement, Social Security, running for Congress, maybe going back to Marden’s to stock shelves, I don’t know. I don’t take myself as seriously as all you do.’’

Before anyone over at Mike Michaud’s Gubernatorial Campaign decides to triple the order for party streamers, a word. That famed poll predicting a LePage win in a non-lubricated three-way? The whole thing falls apart if LePage isn’t the nominee.

This is a head-fake, nothing more. LePage will run for Governor, unless challenged and beaten like a whipped mule by someone in his own party. To date, there has been no polling within the Maine GOP calculating his support within it if another candidate decided to challenge him in a primary.

That is the purpose of the head-fake, to cover up the fact that the Maine GOP is a fractured mess, that the three way fight for control between the “Liberty Kids”, the “The Tea Party” and the “Moderate”  wings of the party have rendered it slightly less effective than a lockless door at a Catholic Boarding School during Daytona Bike Week.